I loved that Gerard, on the first page that begins the essay “Rabbit,” describes her grandmother’s house–the old stacks of Playboy, boxes of liquor, and letters written on old, brittle paper– in such vivid, evocative detail. In reading her descriptions, I thought mostly of my grandma’s house– the bar, vinyl records, and old family photographs. It is when reading descriptions like this that I find myself most engaged. But more than that, I loved that she used descriptions of her grandmother’s house to first introduce her grandmother and, later, to introduce her grandfather.

I’ve noticed she does this often throughout the collection. In this essay, Gerard uses her grandfather’s dying to talk about his early life, which then helps her introduce in the essay his children–her father, aunt, and uncle. (284-85) This is an interesting way to organize an essay. I also found Gerard’s descriptions of her grandfather’s last days really visceral–the bed sores, oral thrush, and his delirious and painful sleep. (287)

In writing this I thought about a question JGB asks often–what is this essay, story, or poem really about?–I felt this essay was very much about the ways in which we grieve our loved ones, the lies we tell them, and ourselves, so that we can live comfortably, and the ways we can prevent our own suffering or the suffering of others. (293) Gerard’s grandmother grieves her grandfather, and Gerard ultimately grieves her husband, who we find out has been diagnosed with testicular cancer.

It seems in the second essay, “Before: An Inventory,” that Gerard is literally, in a hodge-podge but poetic kind of way, taking inventory of the things in her life. It sounds like she’s written down all the things she noticed “before.”